vday recap.

as all of you know, yesterday was Valentine's Day. earlier this week, i was almost 100% sure that this Valentine's Day was going to be the worst one ever and that i was going to struggle getting through the day. when you're in high school, you get the front row seat to seeing all the theatrics that take place in the lives of high school couples. there's huge teddy bears, chocolate boxes, and flowers galore. i didn't think that i was going to be getting anything at school, because there's no one there that i'm interested in or is interested in me. i have study hall after lunch, which is about half way through my school day. my study hall teacher is pretty chill so i put my earphones in and listened to some Bethel like i usually do. i was feeling pretty depressed and down & out about everything. about halfway through the period, the door opens and one of the office helpers has a bouquet of white orchids in her hand. she asked my teacher who to give these to, and he pointed at me. i was shocked. there aren't words for how surprised i was. i opened the card and it was a really encouraging note that I really needed to here. :) then, someone close to me sent me a text saying happy valentine's day. it was just the sweetest thing in the world. all of it combined turned everything around for me. then, two amazing people showed up bringing me another flower and just making my day even more. :) this whole thing taught me something: God will surprise you and take care of you always, no matter what. you just need to trust him and believe that he'll be right by your side. 

what to do when.. #1

a bunch of you have been asking for advice for different topics, so i picked 5 to do for this post and then i'll be doing more as time goes on. 

1. what do you do when...you've liked someone since 4th grade that you've grown up with, and they have a girlfriend, who isn't right for them?

well, i've definitely been in your shoes. i honestly wish i could tell you that there's an easy solution to this problem, but there's not. there's 3 potential ways to go about this. 

- a. you just move on. you just decide that he's with her for a reason, and that reason must be meaningful enough to make him stay with her. 

- b. you try and break them up and you let the enemy win. you lie and cheat and do all the wrong things just so you know he's single. 

- c. you wait. you be there for him, and just be his best friend. if i've learned anything it's that junior high/high school relationships 99% of the time don't last. the chances of their relationship lasting for much longer is slim, but that doesn't mean you have to intervene and try to "speed up" the process. you may end up losing him, and that's the last thing you want. pray for him, and give it to God. if you cover him in prayer, and are always there when he needs to talk, there's nothing that you are doing wrong on his part.

i know waiting is the worst. it's just terrible & i wish that we didn't have to wait for things to happen. but, sometimes you have to wait because God's gonna teach you something valuable through the time you are waiting. take the time to focus on yourself and find ways to just enjoy the time. I've walked in your footsteps and there will be light at the end of the darkness. 

maturity.

people have always said i am really mature for my age. growing up, i would hang out with my parents and their friends. i would go everywhere and do everything with them. as i've grown older, i guess i've brought that maturity with me. i guess i've taken that maturity and have incorporated it into my life. most of my best friends are older than me, & i like hanging out with an older crowd. after losing my dad this summer, responsibility was really thrown on my plate & i was forced to grow up, whether I wanted to or not. My dad had always told me that my maturity was something that God was going to really use in crucial parts of my life. He said that my age really doesn't match who I am. It's hard for me at times. I also tend to like guys that are a little bit older than me. It's just how I work. 99% of the high school guys that I know arent on the same level that i am. its just how it is. Its really hard, but i honestly am so happy with who god has created me to be. He made me this way and I know he's going to use my maturity in a huge way in the near future. It's just the waiting that is the hard part. I've realized that I am impatient only about things I want terribly, terribly bad. This would be one of those things. But, it will all work in God's timing. I'm just hoping its sooner than later.  

who am I?

who am I? that's something that I was pondering tonight. but you know what? I know 100% who I am. I'm a girl who loves country music, writing, & Maroon 5. but, most importantly, I'm the righteous & holy daughter of Jesus. In His eyes, I'm perfect. There is nothing that could ever separate me from Him. He took the blame for all the bad things I've done and have yet to do. He loves me, more than anyone ever will. He gave me the gift of musical worship and the gift of prophetic dreams. I love reading my Bible, praying to Him, watching iBethel, & spending hours on my keyboard in my room alone with the Father. Hems my number one. He's all that genuinely matters to me. Everything I am and will ever be is because of Him and the blood He shed for my mistakes and my burdens. There is no greater feeling I have than when I am in the midst of Jesus. God is living in me. I feel accepted and loved. God has given me uncontainable, unspeakable joy. His love is so beautiful and it has taken over my heart completely. I've surrendered my life to live to glorify His. But you know what? whether you knew this or not, I am just like you. God gave his life not just for me, but for you as well. He gave his life for everyone. God loves you, just as much as he loves me. He wants you to know that you are loved and that there is nothing that could ever tear you away from Him. You just need to let him in.

the hard truth.

there is something that I thought about today. whenever you find something out that is really good, you run and you want to tell people. when you hear a really good song, you run and tell your best friend or your mom about it. why is it not the same with our faith? people, including myself, aren't that bold about sharing the love of Jesus like that. lucky for me, my close family and friends are really on fire for God. i also have a great church that really inspires me to be public about my faith and to take risks. God has really challenged me to be fearless this year. i have really prophetic dreams from God. he really speaks to me through my dreams, and i remember them very well. i had a dream that I was at my school and i was praying for people and people were giving their lives to God and they were being healed. lives were being radically changed, just through my decision to not let fear overtake my love for the Father. that's my goal for this next year. my goal is to live like that. one of my favorite bands wrote a song called live like that, and it has a lyric that really depicts this: "if love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand. recklessly abandoned, never holding back." that right there says it all. if you truly love God and believe that He is love, then you should dedicate your life to showing that love to the people around you. i'm not saying that i'm perfect and that i'm going to be great at this, but i do have a pretty good idea of what i want my life to look like now and for the rest of its days.

2013.

there are 3 things that I'm going to do starting January 1st that I feel God has put on my heart to do.

1. try and only listen to worship music.

2. write a new blog post & journal every day.

3. spend 30 minutes with God every day.

Music is a huge aspect in my life. The thing I've realized is that when I'm not listening to worship music, I'm listening to sappy love songs. Sappy love songs aren't completely bad, but they aren't giving the glory to where it needs to be given. One of my goals is to listen to only worship music for the month of January. 

Another one of the things God has put on my heart is to write a blog post every day. Writing these blogs and writing in my journal has really helped me get everything out and feel less stressed. I'm going to start a new blog with a new address and it's going to be the journey of 2013 for me. :)

my final goal is to spend at least 30 minutes (if not more) with God every day. In the past month or so, I have fulfilled that goal. but when things get really busy, it's very hard to do that. I feel like God has a lot to teach me one on one and I want to try whole-heartedly to surrender that to Him.

lazy days.

here is a verse that has really inspired me today.


"I am acting with great boldness toward You because I have great pride in You. I am filled with comfort. Because You live in me, I am overflowing with joy." - 2 Corinthians 7:4 

well, today I had a good lazy day. i woke up at 12. (which has never happened ever in my life) I wore sweats all day, and I did nothing. it was so nice. :) I think everyone deserves a good lazy day every once in a while, just to clear your head and not let stress overwhelm you. I got to spend some time with God and that's always great when that happens. I actually spent some time at the piano, and I began writing another worship song. 2 Corinthians 7:4 was my inspiration. I love that book. It is one of my favorites. There is so much in there that is directly relatable. I encourage you to really dig deep in there, if you haven't already. another thing I encourage you to do is follow my good friend Thad's (who I talk about all the time) blog. it's so encouraging and it really makes you think. check it out. :)

http://thadsweet.blogspot.com