time for an update. (including an awesome healing story!)

     hello all. well, i figured it was time for an update. fall 2012 is here. i have mixed emotions about it. i'm happy because i love fall weather, fall food, and the changes that happen. but, i'm also sad because i miss not having to wear a sweatshirt or sweater everywhere. the biggest thing about fall is, you guessed it, school. school is a strange place for me. i have 3 friends that i can truly be myself around, but besides that, it's just me, going about my day. i'm fine with that, but sometimes it just gets too hard to take in. i've been spending time praying and just giving it all to God, because I know that He understands me more than anyone else ever will. he's been doing amazing stuff in my life and i'm so happy. something amazing happened last week, which started all of this. :) 

     i was at the library before school one day and there was a girl in one of the aisles looking at nonfiction books. the funny thing was that there was no one in the library except for myself, the girl and the librarian (who just happened to go to my church). she was in a wheelchair with casts on both of her legs. I was feeling God leading me to pray for her, but i was kinda nervous because i didn't know her very well. the holy spirit gave me the boost i needed to approach her. i said hi to her and asked how she was. i noticed that she had a SWAG (saved with amazing grace) shirt on, which was definitely a good sign. i told her that i really liked her shirt and then i asked if she wanted prayer for her legs. she said that she would love prayer and that she's so glad someone offered. I put my hands on each of her legs and i simply asked for her legs to be healed in Jesus' name and for all pain to leave her body right now. i asked her to test it to see if anything happened. she was hesitant at first, but then she asked for me to help her up. without any struggles, she stood right up and was able to walk with no pain. she began to tear up because she had never been healed like that before. she also asked how i did that. i simply answered that it wasn't me, it was God. she told me that she really appreciated that i prayed for her.

     the day before, i was really struggling. i had felt like no one cared about me and i felt like i was completely worthless. one of my best friends really encouraged me and he told me that there was no need to feel that way, because i was made in God's image, and God is perfect. even though we all mess up and make mistakes, our identity in God is still beautiful and pure. that is what has kept me going for so long. i hope you all are doing well. i'll write again soon.

carpe diem.

carpe diem. seize the day. one of my favorite shows (Grey's Anatomy) began an episode with this quote and it really made me think. of course, i am not a doctor, and i don't work with doctors, but still, the overall idea of it, really makes you think. 

"how annoying is carpe diem? how are we supposed to plan a life, a career, a future when you're always carpe-ing your diem. if we all seized every moment of everyday, there would be no doctors. who would sit through med school? we'd all be too busy living in the now, whatever that means." - Grey's Anatomy.

also, a famous saying has also become popular. YOLO. you only live once. do you only live once on this earth? yes. but does that mean you should go do idiotic things that will not help you what so ever? no. you shouldn't. 

someone very close to me, who is a runner, said this: "I run for those who can't." instead of living for carpe diem or YOLO, shouldn't we have that philosophy? God has given each of us a wonderful, blessed life. we shouldn't spend it doing ridiculous things society think are "cool" or "happening". we should live for God, and we should live to glorify Him, not ourselves or society. are carpe diem and yolo bad overall ideas? no. i do however think you should make the most of your days and live life to the fullest, but it's to what extent you take while using them that really matters.