loneliness.

loneliness. it's extremely hard. for me, it's whenever i'm at school, when the loneliness hits. the second i walk into the door of my high school, i instantly get a huge headache that last for hours and hours until i get home from school. the enemy likes to think that he can get the best of me at school, because i have no friends and i don't really have anywhere i fit in. all my best friends live 15 minutes away or more, and i don't see them everyday. it's incredibly hard to deal with and it causes a lot of pain and trials. for any of you out there reading this that struggle with this also, know that you're not alone in this. God made us for community, and for relationship. 

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." - John 13:34-35

Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. - Romans 12:9-10

the thing that's helped me is pictures. in my locker, on my notebooks & binders, i have encouraging words & pictures everywhere to help me. if you let the pain get you down, that's letting the enemy win and have his way. take heart because God has overcome all your troubles.

waiting.

hey everyone. i'm sorry i haven't written in a long time. i have had a whole lot going on lately and i've hardly had any free time. things have been okay lately. my wednesdays, fridays & weekends are amazing, but it's the rest of the week that i struggle. when you have this burning passion for God and you can't hold it in, but you go to a school filled with people that are rude, dark & cynical, it's hard to even think clearly. that's been my big struggle lately. i just want summer to hurry up and get here. i want warm weather, cute clothes, freedom, interning and adventures. i tell you what, i want to just fast forward to the end of may. i don't like spring, except for spring break & easter. it's gonna be even harder this year on Father's Day. it's gonna be terrible. i also deal with loneliness at school. i don't have many friends & there's definitely no one i have any interest in, love wise. loneliness is even harder when the guy you actually really like lives a town far away, and you only see him maybe 2 or 3 times a week. it's also hard when you aren't very good in the whole flirting department. i do what i can. i pray for him every day. i pray protection over him & i pray that God blesses him immensely that day. i pray that if God wants us together, that nothing will come in the way of that. that's where the waiting comes in. a verse that has really helped me is:

"trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

no matter what, God has amazing things in store for me. i may only be a sophomore in high school, but i feel like i've lived through so many things that an average sophomore hasn't gone through. i'm just praying for strength these next 3 months. it's gonna be really hard.