restoration.

well, the release of joy and restoration that i've been praying for finally has come. last night, my church had a worship and prayer night with this amazing band called The Neverclaim. their main leader Jeremiah, really spoke to me. after his sermon, he had us all stand and grab hands with the people next to us. we all began singing How He Loves, and God just began to restore my confidence and joy that i had been lacking. he gave me a vision of my future and what it may hold. i began to cry because of how good it felt that i was finally back to where i belong. Jeremiah encouraged everybody to just sing their own song to God and the entire room was just singing out in the Spirit. i felt heaven & earth collide and it was a breathtaking moment. i guess it's all a part of God's timing. things don't always go exactly how you think they would, but at the end of the day, God knows what is best for you. i feel like if you are in need of restoration in your life, whether it's joy or identity or even a relationship, i just encourage you to completely surrender your heart to God and to trust in Him. it's very hard to let your guard down, but in order for you to completely give your all to God, you have to do it. 

worship lyrics. :)

i wrote these a few days ago. they're not exactly perfect, but they're on my heart. i felt God speak very powerfully to write a song about my youth group and having it be sort of like "our anthem". i haven't got a melody set to it yet, but i'm hoping i will eventually. :)


{untitled} 

verse one

our hope is in You
You hold us together in Your hands
when the darkness rises, it has to flee
because You know our destiny


chorus

we are the rising generation
we're coming fast and we're burning bright
we wanna dance and sing to You our King
we are Yours, and we're not afraid
let us sing, let us sing to You our King


verse two

pain has no place
because of Your amazing grace 
we have no fear
because You are here


bridge

we will dance, we will sing
because You gave us Your everything
we're coming alive in You

you showed me there's more, that i got more in store, and i got you.

"I wait in the rain but I don’t complain because I wait for you. I don’t feel pain, you’re like novocain, and I got you. it was always you, it was always you. time and time again, I thought that the end was just around the bend. but you showed me there’s more, I got more in store, and you've got me. it was always you." - always you, ingrid michaelson

what do you do when you have a relationship with someone, but someone very close to them really doesn't like you? that's been my struggle lately. it's makes you feel like you are the problem. you're not good enough in their eyes. it's hard because it feels like they're taking air out of your lungs. i'm just trying to figure out what the correct answer is. do you tell the person that their friend doesn't like you and risk them getting hurt, or do you just try and make do with the situation? i don't know. it's just a hard decision. for me, at the end of the day, the person means the world to me. i'd do anything for him. he's my best friend. he's always been there no matter what crappy things the enemy's thrown at us to tear us apart. i put the above song lyrics because that has been a very relevant song in my life lately. the words are so true and accurate to my life, at the moment. i've been praying and praying about what to do with all of this. i'm just not making a decision, until i know that it's what God wants me to do. but right now, nothing is exactly clear. it's all kinda blurry. but i know that in this time, i will find clarity. i'm just trusting that God has my back and that he's gonna take control of this relationship, wherever it may go. i just need to be patient and trust that. 

waiting.

hello all. sorry it's been awhile since i last wrote. i thought it was time for an update. i've been doing a lot this summer so far. it's only week 2, but it feels like it's not even been that. the thing i hate about waiting for something is when you finally get there, and it isn't what you expected it to be. there was a huge event that happened with someone very close to me, and it threw me for a loop. i guess things are never exactly what you imagine, but that's sometimes better in the long run. but at the time, it's nothing but inconvenient. i guess that's part of waiting. 2 of my best friends are kinda slipping away and i don't know what to do about it. i keep praying that things get better, but i'm doubtful. i think we're all growing and changing at different rates. but, Krista is always by my side. no matter what, she's always there for me and i love her dearly. i'll just continue to pray and God will take control.