Sunday, December 30, 2012

the hard truth.

there is something that I thought about today. whenever you find something out that is really good, you run and you want to tell people. when you hear a really good song, you run and tell your best friend or your mom about it. why is it not the same with our faith? people, including myself, aren't that bold about sharing the love of Jesus like that. lucky for me, my close family and friends are really on fire for God. i also have a great church that really inspires me to be public about my faith and to take risks. God has really challenged me to be fearless this year. i have really prophetic dreams from God. he really speaks to me through my dreams, and i remember them very well. i had a dream that I was at my school and i was praying for people and people were giving their lives to God and they were being healed. lives were being radically changed, just through my decision to not let fear overtake my love for the Father. that's my goal for this next year. my goal is to live like that. one of my favorite bands wrote a song called live like that, and it has a lyric that really depicts this: "if love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand. recklessly abandoned, never holding back." that right there says it all. if you truly love God and believe that He is love, then you should dedicate your life to showing that love to the people around you. i'm not saying that i'm perfect and that i'm going to be great at this, but i do have a pretty good idea of what i want my life to look like now and for the rest of its days.

Friday, December 28, 2012


there are 3 things that I'm going to do starting January 1st that I feel God has put on my heart to do.

1. try and only listen to worship music.
2. write a new blog post & journal every day.
3. spend 30 minutes with God every day.

Music is a huge aspect in my life. The thing I've realized is that when I'm not listening to worship music, I'm listening to sappy love songs. Sappy love songs aren't completely bad, but they aren't giving the glory to where it needs to be given. One of my goals is to listen to only worship music for the month of January. 

Another one of the things God has put on my heart is to write a blog post every day. Writing these blogs and writing in my journal has really helped me get everything out and feel less stressed. I'm going to start a new blog with a new address and it's going to be the journey of 2013 for me. :)

my final goal is to spend at least 30 minutes (if not more) with God every day. In the past month or so, I have fulfilled that goal. but when things get really busy, it's very hard to do that. I feel like God has a lot to teach me one on one and I want to try whole-heartedly to surrender that to Him.

lazy days.

here is a verse that has really inspired me today.

"I am acting with great boldness toward You because I have great pride in You. I am filled with comfort. Because You live in me, I am overflowing with joy." - 2 Corinthians 7:4 

well, today I had a good lazy day. i woke up at 12. (which has never happened ever in my life) I wore sweats all day, and I did nothing. it was so nice. :) I think everyone deserves a good lazy day every once in a while, just to clear your head and not let stress overwhelm you. I got to spend some time with God and that's always great when that happens. I actually spent some time at the piano, and I began writing another worship song. 2 Corinthians 7:4 was my inspiration. I love that book. It is one of my favorites. There is so much in there that is directly relatable. I encourage you to really dig deep in there, if you haven't already. another thing I encourage you to do is follow my good friend Thad's (who I talk about all the time) blog. it's so encouraging and it really makes you think. check it out. :)

Thursday, December 27, 2012

things that make me happy.

something I did this morning while I was with one of my best friends, was list out things that make me happy or that i can do to make me feel happy. i thought i'd share my list with you all.

- watching Grey's Anatomy
- being at church with my church family
- sitting at the piano and just worshipping on my own
- talking and laughing with Kristi and Erica 
- writing in my journal
- getting all dressed up and going out for dinner
- taking pictures
- watching/listening to iBethel and reading my bible
- Holy Spirit Nights
- sitting outside watching the rain
- hugs :)
- encouraging notes/texts
- drinking hot chocolate 
- people getting healed
- Michael Buble's voice :)

it's not a long list, but it's my list. it makes me feel happy and it brings me joy. i love the things on this list. i hope this will inspire you to sit down and make your own list. it's surprising how much it helps. :)

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

best friends.

the definition of a best friend. it's different to everyone. let me describe to you what my definitions look like, because i have many to tell you and they're all different.

definition 1: someone who you can laugh with for hours on end. someone who you can be completely real with no matter what. someone who has a love for God and for music. this is what my definition 1 looks like. her name is Kristi. :)

definition 2: someone who you can talk strictly in inside jokes with and have it actually make sense. someone who you can talk to at anytime about anything at all. someone who cares about others way before she cares about herself. someone who has the Holy Spirit strongly moving through her. this is what my definition 2 looks like. her name is Erica. :)

definition 3: someone who most people don't see the genuine beauty in. someone who has a gentle spirit and knows who she is. someone who never doubts the power of God and knows that He is constantly right by our side watching us and taking care of us. this is my definition 3. her name is krista. :)

definition 4: this one is a little different, but equally as important. people who you can act like a dork around, but they still love you for who you are. people who you can celebrate with, who you can mourn with, who you can just do life with. this is my definition 4, and this is part of my amazing church family.

definition 5: someone who has a great sense of style and of fashion. someone who has great joy and always is optimistic. someone who you can easily talk to and will give you the time of the day no matter what is going on. someone who is confident and genuine. this is my definition 5, and her name is Kaleigh. :)

definition 6: someone who people may think is bold and obnoxious and loud, but actually has a quiet, gentle spirit and love for God. someone who owns her identity and won't change for anyone. someone who is the only female tuba player i know. someone who will be there for you, no matter what comes up or what takes place. this is my definition 6, and her name is Heather. 

definition 7: someone who is a huge role model in your life. someone who creates new slang and vocabulary every single day. someone who has great insight and great wisdom. someone who has checked on me constantly through these past few hard months. someone who has never left my side in the few years I've known him. someone who gives his all no matter what, and who would do anything for the people he loves. this is my final definition 7, and his name is Thad/Thaddeus/Daddeus. 

as you can see, the definition of a bestfriend has different parts. for some of you, there is that one person you have grown up with and you've known them for years. for some, you have a handful of people who are your cheerleaders and who will always catch you when you fall. make the most of the time you have with your best friends. i don't know where most of these girls are going after high school. I may not see some of them again once high school's over. I don't want waste these next two years of high school I still have with them. make the most of the time you have with people in your life. make every moment count. 

recap of 2012.

2012: a year of loss, gain, and change. 

those 3 words perfectly describe this year for me. 

loss. i lost my dad this year. to sum it all up for you, it's awful. it is genuinely honestly awful in every single way possible. there was no light at the end of the tunnel for a while, at least i thought so. i lost someone that i never thought i would have in a million years.  thought my husband was going to ask him for permission to marry me. i thought i was going to have my dad walk me down the aisle at my wedding, and tell my children stories about my childhood. i thought that whenever i would lose hope in myself or in my parenting, that he would be there to encourage me and to give amazing hope. his strength and his guidance still remains, but he's physically gone, here on earth.

gain. i've gained my identity and my faith in my relationship with God. God is my absolute everything. i've learned so much throughout this year about trust with God and how much I still have to learn about him. I've learned about how much he loves me and who I am in his eyes. He's been the constant thing keeping me going in all the pain and hard times I have had this year. I've also realized what relationships are real and which aren't. i've lost a few relationships, but obviously God didn't want them in my life if they aren't in my life now. I've gained an insane amount of strength. One of my favorite verses in the Bible says this: "The joy of the Lord is my strength." That has been the verse that has constantly kept me going in times of doubt or fear in myself. i've basically been forced to grow up this year, and honestly, that's okay with me. I've found who I am and what I'm really about: living my life as a disciple of Jesus. 

change. there has been change in every aspect in my life, both good and bad. my house has had a dramatic makeover and it's so amazing how God did things through that. obviously, i'm now 15. i feel like i'm older than 15 though. i feel like i've walked through so many things already in my life that i didn't think i would have to for a long while. God has changed my heart and he's changed everything about me that wasn't pleasing him. He's completely taken over my life and I've never been happier about that. 

new year, new beginnings. that's my "saying" for 2013. i've gone through so much this year and i've conquered so many obstacles, and i want 2013 to be the best year yet. the enemy has tried to pull me under and has tried to ruin me, but I gave my all to God, and he's remained victorious in my life. I want to make this next year incredible. I want it to be a new start and a new beginning in my life. I want the world to get set on fire with the love of Jesus Christ, and I'm going to do everything in my power to help see that happen. plain and simple. 

Monday, December 17, 2012


for those of you that enjoy a good awkward story, get ready because I have one. so I was chatting one of my friends on Facebook and she was telling me about how she thought this guy didn't like her and how she felt really bad. well, my phone froze while reading it and it took the last sentence and a half and copied it. I was checking my news feed and as I open the side thing to send her a message, it sent what it had copied to someone that i really wish wouldn't have seen it. It was really awkward. I guess things happen sometimes that we don't want to. finals week is this week in the town that I live in and it's insanely stressful. I am mentally and physically drained. If it weren't for the amazing iBethel videos that I stream while studying, I wouldn't have much motivation. I am a good student and I get A's and B's. I just don't like all the stress that gets put on with finals. but, Friday at 11:30am, I will be on winter break and done with school for a good while.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

new year, new beginning & winter playlist. :)

since 2013 is quickly approaching, I wanted to share some of my new year's resolutions/goals.

- spend time with God every night.
- try to look nice everyday.
- speak out & be bold.

These last few months, I've honestly, every night before bed, been spending time with the Father. He's been revealing so much to me and I have never felt His presence and His wisdom so powerful in my life ever. I feel like my dad has a lot to do with it as well. I feel his presence around me at times as well. One of my goals is to spend time every night before bed, reading my bible & having time with the Father. Another goal I have is kinda ridiculous but I really want to try & achieve it. As of late, I've just been throwing on some sweatpants, a tshirt and put my hair in a ponytail for school. I'm not by any means saying its bad, but whenever I take an extra 20 minutes in the morning to actually do something with my hair or do my makeup, it makes me have a more positive outlook on my day. so, I'm going to try and do that more frequently then I currently do at the moment. My last goal is something that I tend to not do a whole lot. I can be really shy and really closed off. I only open up to certain people and that's only if I really trust them. I tried being more loud and that just backfired terribly. I wasn't being me. My goal for this year isn't to be louder vocally, but to be more bold in stepping out in my faith and not letting people stomp all over me. I don't like fighting back with people. I also tend to be really awkward around guys, if Iike them or not. so, that's deck items something else I'm working on. :) ill be updating you guys on how these are going for me & if anything changes.

before I go, I wanted to share some of my favorite songs with you all. :) (some are old, some are new)

she will be loved - maroon 5
the a team - ed sheeran
a thousand years (part two) - christina perri
heart of stone - iko
one thirst - jeremy riddle & steffany frizzell
I really love you - brian & jenn johnson
parking lot party - lee brice
everything has changed - taylor swift & ed sheeran
titanium - david guetta & sia
rochester - mat kearney

Friday, December 14, 2012

nice girls always finish last.

there's a fairly common thing that guys tend to believe: nice guys always finish last. they think that if they are the traditional "nice guy", they won't get the girl they want. well guys, here's some insight to the female mind: that's not true. if anything, it's the other way around. I think it's more like nice girls always finish last. it's usually the girls with the low-cut shirts and the short shorts that guys usually go for. the nice modest girls are usually the ones that get forgotten about. I know me personally, I'm a nice girl. I've been that way forever & I don't plan on changing. God sees me righteous and holy in His eyes & I strive to live owning that truth. But sadly, guys don't always see that. I had a bad heartbreak a few months ago and it took a lot for me to move on & keep going. But, I have and it's good. I guess what I'm saying is this. To all my fellow nice girls out there, keep being you. Don't worry about drastically changing who you are for a guy's attention. To all my nice guys, same thing. Keep being your own your identity in the Father and trust that God made us for relationships and community. To anyone anywhere, most of the time, nice girls finish last. But, if you trust that God has someone for you and that He will handle everything. You may end up finishing first.

nice girls always finish last.

there's a fairly common thing that guys tend to believe: nice guys always finish last. they think that if they are the traditional "nice guy", they won't get the girl they want. well guys, here's some insight to the female mind: that's not true. if anything, it's the other way around. I think it's more like nice girls always finish last. it's usually the girls with the low-cut shirts and the short shorts that guys usually go for. the nice modest girls are usually the ones that get forgotten about. I know me personally, I'm a nice girl. I've been that way forever & I don't plan on changing. God sees me righteous and holy in His eyes & I strive to live owning that truth. But sadly, guys don't always see that. I had a bad heartbreak a few months ago and it took a lot for me to move on & keep going. But, I have and it's good. I guess what I'm saying is this. To all my fellow nice girls out there, keep being you. Don't worry about drastically changing who you are for a guy's attention. To all my nice guys, same thing. Keep being your own your identity in the Father and trust that God made us for relationships and community. To anyone anywhere, most of the time, nice girls finish last. But, if you trust that God has someone for you and that He will handle everything.

Sunday, November 18, 2012


since its thanksgiving week, I thought i'd share some things I am extremely thankful for this year :)

- God :)

God has definitely became my everything this year. He has definitely shown himself to me in new ways and I've grown so much. I am so thankful to have such an amazing God as him and I am so thankful to be loved by him. I wouldn't be me if I didn't have him.

- My family :)

My mom & my brother have ben my rock through everything that has taken place this past year. I love them to death and I would not be who I am without them. We have been through a whole lot together as they have never left my side. They will always be there for me and I know that 100%. Heidi, i know we aren't blood related, but you will always be my aunt :) you are my person to talk to about everything and anything. You are my person to listen to Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift with, to watch Grey's and Y&R with and to make fun crafty things with. Angie and Ali, I love you two so much. You guys are so inspiring and so amazing. I love you two <3

- My dad <3

Even though my dad is spending time with Jesus right now, I am still incredibly thankful for him. His strength is in me now and he taught me so many valuable thins that I will cherish forever.

- My incredible best friends :)

Kristi and Ricajo, I love you both so much. I know it's only been a few years, but it feels like I've known you two forever. You two are the best friends I could ask for. I love you tel to death. I would do anything for you two and you both are such beautiful, confident daughters of God and you guys continue to inspire and encourage me everyday. You two are the definition of beautiful :) Thanks for being there no matter what and for never leaving my side <3 Krista, you are the most loving person I have ever met. You are so incredible and I love you to pieces. Mento, I wish I saw you more because I honestly haven't seen you in forever. Thanks for all our laughs and all our amazing memories that we have had since kindergarten :) I love you! Heather, thanks for being my person to keep me going and to always be there no matter what. Our band memories will always be the highlight of high school for me. I've loved seeing your relationship with God grow in the past year :) Kales, thanks for always giving incredible advice and for always being there to have a good laugh when we need it. Abbie, you are so amazing and confident. I wish I was you sometimes ;) thanks for all the good times we have together and for all our adventures :) Bradley, David, & Tyler, thanks for all the laughs we've had together. You guys are some of the most hilarious, encouraging people on the planet. :) Amanda, thanks for being so amazing :) I love all our texts and all our hilarious times together. I wish we saw each other more :( Carlie, you are so awesome :) there's more to you then most people realize. I can be myself with you and I love that. You are so gorgeous and you're awesome :) Josh, Patience, & Brys, I love all of you guys. Your family is pretty fantastic, especially because you all are in it. Thanks for everything you guys do :)

- My church & my church family :)

My church is my favorite place in the entire world. I love being there because God is in total control. I love how close we all are and I love that I'm part of such an amazing family. All my Revolution & Kingdom Kids people, thanks for being you. :) you guys are amazing. To my 2 year old class, I love you guys! I am so blessed to get to hang out with you guys and to get to see you guys grow :) to my rev small group girls, I love you all dearly :) you all are the best!

- the adult worship team :)

my favorite thing to do is worship musically. I love doing it on my own, but I also love doing it with the two teams I serve with. Susan & Daniel, thank you for being such incredible role models. You two are amazing leaders and I have learned so much from you two. Martha, Danny, Jeff & Mark, you guys have amazing hearts for worship and I love spending time with you guys. :)

- my rev worship team :)

Judah, thanks for being such a great co-leader in Revolution. I feel so comfortable talking and leading with you and that means the world to me. :) Kristi, Jonny, Brys and Patience, thanks for being so willing to serve and give your all to worship. :) you all are incredible musicians and friends.

- Thad/Daddeus :)

Thad, you are the absolute best. God gave me a seriously amazing gift when he gave me your friendship. You are a mentor and best friend to me. You have always been there. You are my Daddeus and I appreciate you so much. Thanks for putting up with me and for all the wisdom and advice you have given me. I love you so much, thanks for everything.

- my mentors :)

I have already mentioned a few (my mom, Heidi, Ali, Susan, Daniel, Thad) but I want to mention a few more. Morgan, thanks for being my big sister :) I hope I can become such a strong woman of God like you are. I'm so excited for your future with Marek. He's really awesome and genuine and i couldn't be happier for you two. Jo, you are so incredibly beautiful. Your confidence is so encouraging. I respect you so much. You have such a beautiful voice & I love you so much. :) Leah, you are such a great pastor and most of all, friend. You have a way of saying things that I understand them a billion times better. You are a huge inspiration to me. Amy, you are so amazing. You are a great friend to my mom and to me as well. I love watching Troy and spending time with him. He is one of my favorite people to spend time with and you definitely are to. I don't think I know anyone who uses pinterest the way you do ;) love you lots! Heather Collins, you are on of my favorite people in the entire world. I think you are absolutely amazing. You are one of the best advice givers ever. I love all our awesome conversations together and I can't wait for our Hunger Games movie night :) Jonny, thanks for being such a joyful person that always knows how to make me smile. You are such a great youth pastor & I am so thankful to have you in my life. :)

- my tuesday night small group :)

Ben, Shannon, Kenneth, Ted, Lauren, Heather, I love you guys. <3 you all make school a whole lot better. I love being able to talk and worship with such amazing people on Tuesday nights :) thank you guys for being such great friends and for always being there 24/7.

- my musical influences :)

now, I know this is a little crazy, but if these artists didn't write music, I wouldn't be the same. Steffany Frizzell, Jeremy Riddle, Jenn Johnson, Jesus Culture, Maroon 5, Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Mumford and Sons, Sidewalk Prophets, John Mayer, Adele, & Coldplay. You all write & sing such great music :)

Monday, November 12, 2012

my person.

"when tragedy strikes, we all need that person. the one person you can call no matter what time it is or what is going on, you know that they will be there. you know you can be real with them and they will be real with you. Meredith, that's you. you are my person, you will always be my person." - Cristina, Grey's Anatomy

I've been dealing with an extremely hard relationship with one of (who I thought) my close guy friends lately. It's been hard, there's been tears, and it's just not been easy. I thought he was my person. He made me believe that he was my person, but then he turned around and wasn't. I've tried my best to just hold my head up high and move along. but I have realized something about myself that may or may not apply to you. I am someone that tends to hold everything in and just kinda let things happen. I don't really vent and let everything out. I do at times, but not as much as I should. then, God really told me to rely on my person and to just let it all out, whether its though words, a song, a poem, or even just going outside and sitting on the porch. now, I'm not saying that you should call your person every single time something bugs you and vent and go on for hours on end about every little thing that happens in your life. But what I'm saying is, have a person, or even two or three. don't have too many though, because then it gets difficult. I have 3. Thad, (who I talk about in pretty much every post..he's a big part of my life), Kristina, and Erica. Those 3 are who I talk to every day, and who I know are there for me whenever. going back to the quote, if you haven't watched grey's before, I highly suggest you do. (It's one of my all time favorite shows. It's just flat out amazing and so enjoyable.) Cristina (who is talking) is going through a lot. She's been in a plane crash and she moved from Seattle to Minnesota for a job. She's gone through a whole lot of stuff. She's on the phone with Meredith (the main character) when she says the quote. In the situation I'm in, I'm going to have to let go and move on. I've invested too much into this relationship and it's obviously not mutual. God gives us each a person or a couple people to be there and to help us live life. If I didn't have my person (or people), I wouldn't be the same.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

new song lyrics.

verse one

Do you hear that?
Its my heart breaking
Do you see that?
Those are my tears falling
I'm trying to be realistic here
But you won't even try to be
I want you to be who you are
But instead you are a stranger


I gave you my heart and you broke it
I gave you my hope and you lost it
I thought you were gonna be there
But instead you've changed

verse two

You're unrealistic, unreasonable
You don't even know who you are or what you want
I have told myself you'll come around
But we all know you won't
Don't say you don't know
We all know you do


I hope one day you return to who you are
I know you'll be fine
I'm just tired of loving someone that isn't even there

Monday, October 29, 2012


well, I've come to realize that I am a not-so-typical high school girl. Instead of using curse words in the halls, I tell people that God loves them and speak truth life into them, just like the Father instructs us to do. Instead of listening to Nicki Minaj or Lil Wayne, I listen to Jesus Culture and Bethel Live because their music speaks truth and gives the glory to whom it is deserved, Jesus. Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect, because I am far from it, but I guess I'm just saying that I'm different then most people at my school. I guess I've just grown up hanging around people older than me and I have gone through things most people don't have to at my age. But you know what? I'm completely okay with it. Giving my life to God and growing in my relationship with him is the best thing that will ever happened to me. I already know that for a fact. I used to be terribly shy and afraid of letting other people see who I really am, but then God released a whole new sense. of identity and boldness into my life and I have never been the same. Recently, a close relationship I had with someone has gone downhill. I thought that I could be completely real with this person, but instead, he's just forgotten about me. We barely speak anymore and I feel like he's a stranger to me now. It has been tearing me apart and I've wanted to just hide in my room and cry for hours on end. Thad, who I have told you about before, told me this: if there are people in your life who are causing you pain & heartbreak and are getting you worked up, you just need to let go. He told me it is easier said than done , and he is definitely right. I finally told the person how I felt, and we are going to try and talk it out. I guess why I'm telling you all of this is because of one simple principle: just be yourself. Don't let your fears get a hold of you and the decisions you make. Let your identity that God has given you shine through. God has given each of us some amazing talents and gifts and He wants us to use them to further the Kingdom. Before I go, I wanted to tell you a story about something God did at my school last week. I had an early dismissal day, and I was sitting in the gym during PE class. This girl who I had just moved here was added to my PE class and so she sat near me on the bleachers. She pulled out a paper from her binder that was full of different bible verses. She began to tear up and she began to wipe her tears with her sweatshirt sleeve. I felt God telling me to encourage her and offer my help to her. I grabbed my backpack and sat down on the bleacher next to her and simply said hello. I told her my name and I asked if she needed any help finding anything around the school or if she had any questions. I asked her did she had found a church in our town or a town near ours. She told me that she was a Christian, but she did some bad things that could not make her good enough to be loved by God. I asked her if she would want to talk to me about it.
She told me that she has struggled with depression and that she finds it hard to see herself as beautiful or smart or anything. She told me that she had a bad relationship with her older brother,
Derek and that she always felt like she couldn't live up to the standard her parents had for her, because Derek was so perfect and smart. She told me how when she moved her she wanted something different, but instead she was forced into a box by herself. I took the paper with the verses and read a couple to her. I began telling her my story and how God has changed my life forever. I asked her if I could pray for her and without a doubt, she agreed. I asked for the Holy Spirit to just fill her up and that she would see the true identity that God has given her. As I began to pray more, she began to cry. A few seconds later, she began to pray in tongues silently to herself. I was so focused on the prayer that I didn't even think once about who could have been listening or watching us, because God just took over. She rededicated her life to God and was incredibly touched by the things I had said to her. I still don't know her name and I don't see her very often, now that I'm in a different class, but when I see her every once in a while in the halls, she has a smile on her face and I know why. :) I love seeing God do things like this. It inspires you to keep going and to keep pursuing Him, even when you want to give up. I encourage you to take one step of faith tomorrow, wherever that may be. Give someone a simple compliment, pray for someone at your school or workplace. You never know when a little conversation from a not-so-typical person can change a life.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

time for an update. (including an awesome healing story!)

     hello all. well, i figured it was time for an update. fall 2012 is here. i have mixed emotions about it. i'm happy because i love fall weather, fall food, and the changes that happen. but, i'm also sad because i miss not having to wear a sweatshirt or sweater everywhere. the biggest thing about fall is, you guessed it, school. school is a strange place for me. i have 3 friends that i can truly be myself around, but besides that, it's just me, going about my day. i'm fine with that, but sometimes it just gets too hard to take in. i've been spending time praying and just giving it all to God, because I know that He understands me more than anyone else ever will. he's been doing amazing stuff in my life and i'm so happy. something amazing happened last week, which started all of this. :) 

     i was at the library before school one day and there was a girl in one of the aisles looking at nonfiction books. the funny thing was that there was no one in the library except for myself, the girl and the librarian (who just happened to go to my church). she was in a wheelchair with casts on both of her legs. I was feeling God leading me to pray for her, but i was kinda nervous because i didn't know her very well. the holy spirit gave me the boost i needed to approach her. i said hi to her and asked how she was. i noticed that she had a SWAG (saved with amazing grace) shirt on, which was definitely a good sign. i told her that i really liked her shirt and then i asked if she wanted prayer for her legs. she said that she would love prayer and that she's so glad someone offered. I put my hands on each of her legs and i simply asked for her legs to be healed in Jesus' name and for all pain to leave her body right now. i asked her to test it to see if anything happened. she was hesitant at first, but then she asked for me to help her up. without any struggles, she stood right up and was able to walk with no pain. she began to tear up because she had never been healed like that before. she also asked how i did that. i simply answered that it wasn't me, it was God. she told me that she really appreciated that i prayed for her.

     the day before, i was really struggling. i had felt like no one cared about me and i felt like i was completely worthless. one of my best friends really encouraged me and he told me that there was no need to feel that way, because i was made in God's image, and God is perfect. even though we all mess up and make mistakes, our identity in God is still beautiful and pure. that is what has kept me going for so long. i hope you all are doing well. i'll write again soon.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

carpe diem.

carpe diem. seize the day. one of my favorite shows (Grey's Anatomy) began an episode with this quote and it really made me think. of course, i am not a doctor, and i don't work with doctors, but still, the overall idea of it, really makes you think. 

"how annoying is carpe diem? how are we supposed to plan a life, a career, a future when you're always carpe-ing your diem. if we all seized every moment of everyday, there would be no doctors. who would sit through med school? we'd all be too busy living in the now, whatever that means." - Grey's Anatomy.

also, a famous saying has also become popular. YOLO. you only live once. do you only live once on this earth? yes. but does that mean you should go do idiotic things that will not help you what so ever? no. you shouldn't. 

someone very close to me, who is a runner, said this: "I run for those who can't." instead of living for carpe diem or YOLO, shouldn't we have that philosophy? God has given each of us a wonderful, blessed life. we shouldn't spend it doing ridiculous things society think are "cool" or "happening". we should live for God, and we should live to glorify Him, not ourselves or society. are carpe diem and yolo bad overall ideas? no. i do however think you should make the most of your days and live life to the fullest, but it's to what extent you take while using them that really matters. 

Saturday, August 18, 2012

summer 2012.

hello once again. I want to apologize for not posting as often as I used to. I have had a very busy few weeks. As many of you have/will, I started school yesterday. It was a pretty decent day actually. Every teacher asked, what did you do this summer? well, I did a lot. Let's start at the beginning. I went to this awesome yogurt place called Cocomero for the first time, I was a summer intern at my church, I turned 15, I had an amazing birthday party, and well, the rest of it wasn't exactly something I wanted to share. One of other teachers said to describe your summer in 3 words. I chose powerful, life-changing, and new. I will always remember this summer, because it was the last one I got to spend it with someone really close to me. I was telling my mom about how much I wish the end of summer would have been more enjoyable and how it ended really bad, but you know what, God's changed my life so much through this that I am so much stronger now because I have His strength built in me. I know that everything will be okay because God has given me this summer to find myself and find my true identity in Him.

Friday, August 10, 2012

..amazing how you take my breath away.

hey guys, how's it going? i hope all is well. so, i just wanted to tell you about this amazing artist that I'm obsessed with. his name is AJ Rafael and he's amazing. His voice is just simply perfect and I love him! His YouTube videos are so good. Some are funny, some are serious. One of his newest songs is called Beautiful Escape and it's been my song these past few days. I'll link it at the bottom of my post. :) anyways, i'm almost back at school. my first half day is in a week, i can't believe it. i've had such an amazing summer for the most part. as you all know, i'm a summer intern at my church and it's been the highlight of my summer, hands down. it's been so much fun, getting to help out with the different areas of the church and helping out. it's also been great hanging out with my best friends and having a bunch of memories. i'm truly hoping that next summer, i am able to intern again. :) 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

an update.

hey bloggers. sorry it's been so long since I've posted on here. I have had a lot go on in the past few weeks. My world was turned upside down. Someone very close to passed away and is no longer with me. During these few weeks since it happened, I have learned and experienced so much emotion and almost every feeling. It's been hard but God has been right next to me helping me along the way. I have had joy in these mourning times, even though it was hard to not cave in and let the Enemy win. I told myself and God that I wasn't going to let the Enemy run my life. That's not what God wants and that's what I want. The person I lost always told me to trust God even when it felt like it was the end of the world. They always trusted God and gave their all to God. As I start to go back to school, I am extremely nervous. I am very awkward at school. I have about 4 close friends, and that's it. I guess I just don't have a clique or group to fall into. I'm just me. Last year, I had some upper classmen in my lunch period, that were also in band, that would sit at my lunch table. My friend Heather and I would always talk and laugh with them. But this year, I don't know who I'm gonna have in my classes or my lunch period. I'm just praying God gives me friends in my classes and good teachers. alright, that's enough school talk. I started liking someone recently. :) it's exciting. I was in a relationship earlier this year that ended badly and I was extremely hurt by it. I was terrified of opening my heart again but I've started to feel more comfortable with all of that again. I have been praying that God will just bring me peace with that whole area of my life because it was really discouraging me. He's made me realize that he has someone out there for me. If I worry about what may or many not happen & keep my heart closed off, I'm never gonna know when God is at work or when the right person is right in front of me. my song for this post is gone in the morning by newton faulkner. it's one of those songs where you hear it and you just feel happy. :) I'll write back soon. thank you guys for reading. it means the world to me. :D

Saturday, July 21, 2012

all of the while, it was you.

hello to whomever is reading this. i hope you all are doing well. it feels like forever since i've wrote anything on here, even though it hasn't been too long. well, i had my birthday party last night. it was so much fun. i actually really enjoyed having most of my best friends all in one place. even though we all (for the most part) go to the same church, we don't mesh together as well as I thought we did. i was sad because someone I really wanted to go texted me last minute because he had something come up last minute. but, the rest of the party was decent. I had a good time. there were things that I wish had gone differently but things aren't always perfect. my birthday is on Monday. :) i'm excited for that. i always love birthdays. they make me happy. :) it's the one day of the year when everyone gets a day to celebrate them. i don't exactly know what i'm going to do, but i'm hopefully going to hang out with my friends. :D anyways, there's been this song that has really inspired me this week by Landon Pigg called Falling In Love at a Coffee Shop. it's a great song. it talks about when you first start to really fall for someone. ( the line that i'm absolutely in love with is this line: "i think that possibly, maybe i'm falling for you." i love that line. it's such a cute, yet powerful lyric. i've started liking someone that i hadn't even thought i would. it's great. anyways, i've really been into fashion as of late. i've been into matching things and different fashion trends. Kales is my fashionista. she knows how to match things and she knows what is cute and what isn't. we went through my entire wardrobe and she showed me what looks good together and what doesn't. i would say before the summer, my fashion sense was about a 7.5/10 but now i would say i'm a 9/10. :) so, that's good. i may post a few DIY (do-it-yourself) things that I did this week, but who knows. I start work back up this week, so that'll be a challenge. i'll write more soon. keep dreaming. :)

love, the girl behind the camera.

Saturday, July 14, 2012


hello all you bloggers. it's the girl behind the camera once again. hope you all have had a great day today. i hung out with my aunt Heidi today and that was really fun. she's not my literal aunt, but she may as well be. i've known her forever and she's always there for me. she's pretty much my second mom. the one thing that has been on my mind today has been distance. not only literal distance, but feeling distant from someone. I love the song distance by christina perri and jason mraz. it's amazing. it really relates to the situation I'm in currently. In the song, she talks about how she loves one of her best guy friends but she is too afraid to tell him because she's afraid of what he'll say about it. Thats exactly how it is for me right now. I guess distance can be a good and bad thing. Sometimes, you need distance because you need time on your own from the world and from a relationship. But, too much distance or too long of a distance can ruin and break a relationship. I guess that's something I don't exactly understand. But, I didn't create it. God did. Listen to this song. I hope you enjoy it. I'll write more soon.

- the girl behind the camera. :)


hello all you bloggers. hope that you've had a fantastic start to your weekend. well, in case you were wondering, I did have a pretty good day. I am on worship team this weekend at my church, and so I loved that. God really revealed a lot to me tonight. So, in , what all can I say about her. She's so amazing. I tonight's blog, that's what I'll be talking about. God really told me that He has put mentors in my life for a reason and that He thinks that the people I have are the right people, and that they will be there for a long time to come. There are 4 people in my life that I think of when I hear the word mentor: Thad, Leah, Susan, and Morgan. So, I'll tell you a little bit about them. :)

Thad - Thad is the coolest guy I have ever met, hands down. He is one of the most creative, sophisticated, smart people that I have ever met.  He's a runner and he started a running club at my church. He usually tweets or puts a status on Facebook about how his running went that day. He has such a heart for people and for serving others. I met him last year while I was interning and we just became friends instantly. As I've grown and matured, Thad has been there for me when I need to tell him something. He's there when I need a good laugh, but he's also there when I need to tell him something. He understands where I'm coming from, and he's always so encouraging. He's my dad, he's my older brother, and he's my friend all at once. :) 

Leah - Leah is the best person ever. She's my role model and I look up to her so much. She is the high school pastor at my church, and she is the best. She is one of the first people I met when I started going to my church and I am so glad I met her. She's been there for me through my happy days and through my sad days. She  has absolutely inspired me to be me and to trust that God will provide, even when it's hard to. She's helped become who I am, and I so grateful to have someone as amazing as her be in my life. I don't know what I would do without her. :)

Susan - Susan is such an encouraging person. She is the worship leader on the worship team I play on, and she's amazing. She is an amazing woman of God and she's such a huge role model in my life. She has such a caring spirit about her and she really inspires me and motivates me to continue to pursue God. She's the best person to go get ice cream with late at night when you need to talk about life with or when you just need some encouragement. Susan will always be there, ready to pray for you or just give you a hug. Susan has taught me so much about worship leading and I love her so much! :)

Morgan - Ahh, I love Morgan. She is such a confident, beautiful person. She is so amazing to be around and she really cares about her friends and family. I've learned so much from her about what beauty really is and what God truly sees me as. She's really inspired me and she's always been so encouraging to me. I have such a high respect for her and I love her to death. She has such a passion for God and for sharing His love with others and that is something I love about her. She's someone you can just be real with about anything and you know that she'll be there to help you out when you need her. 

Well, there you have it. Those are just brief descriptions about some of the most important people in my life. If any of you are reading this, I just want you all to know how much I love you all and that I am so glad that I have such amazing role models in my life. :) 

the song for tonight's post doesn't really correspond with the theme of mentors, but it's a really good song that we are doing this weekend at church. 

awakening - chris tomlin

well, that's all for me. i will talk to you all soon. :)

much love,
- the girl behind the camera. :)

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

sharing my faith.

so, i'm hoping you guys watch american idol or at least know who Colton Dixon is. he was on this season and he got eliminated 7th. he was the best guy there for many reasons, but you know what my favorite reason was? he was public about his love and relationship with Jesus. i absolutely adore him for that. if you don't watch the show, once a contestant gets eliminated, they sing their last song. Colton chose to sing everything by lifehouse as his final song. the song is played on mainstream radio, but is really a song about God. once Colton was about to start the song, he got on his knees. the song started and he just sang with his eyes closed, kneeling before God. once he got to the chorus, he stood up. the lyrics in the song are "you're all I want, you're all I need, you're everything, everything." but instead Colton changed it to, "God you're all I want, God you're all I need, you're everything, everything." at that moment, i just loved him even more. as i've thought about that tonight and how he got so much feedback for sharing his love for Jesus with the world, I realized that people shouldn't be deathly afraid of sharing the amazing love of God with others. I myself have struggled with sharing that love, especially at school. it's so scary and so tough, but you could be saving lives by doing it and that is what is important. not getting made fun of or judged. my song for this post is the studio version of Colton singing Everything. I hope you enjoy it as much as i have. :) it's absolutely amazing.

i love you all so much. thanks for reading my thoughts. talk to you all soon. :)

much love,
- the girl behind the camera.

hello world.

well, hi. how are you? i should probably introduce myself. hi. i'm the girl behind the camera. i am almost fifteen years old, i'm a hopeful romantic, Jesus is everything to me, i have the best family in the entire world, and my three loves are photography, music and fashion. i've decided to start this page so that way you can read something real with real emotion, not some fake made up story that someone makes up just to get popular. i'm not a very bold person. i'm more on the quiet side, unless i'm with one of my best friends. i have 5 best friends. they are the best 5 girls you'll ever meet.
(disclaimer: I'm using their nicknames just for security reasons.)

Kales - hehe, Kales is my fashionista. She is so much like me we're pretty much twins. Kales is always there for me when I need a good laugh, or when i'm crying my eyes out. she'll never let you down and she'll be there for you whenever you need her. I love her so much!

Kristi - oh, Kristi. Kristi is one of those people where you just can't be upset around them. She has this infectious energy and joy about her that I love. I can tell her anything and i love her to death and she's the best.

Mento - My Mento is the best person in the entire world. She's the best person ever. I've known her since kindergarten and we've been through it all together. She's so creative in art, music and photography. i love her so much and she's one of the most confident, beautiful young women ever. 

Rica - Rica is so beautiful. Beauty is the first thing that comes to my mind when I see Rica. She's not only physically beautiful, but she's internally beautiful. She has such a sweet personality and she deeply cares about others. She's always there, no matter what is going on in my life. I love her :)
Kristah - Kristah is my athlete frand. She does every sport (that her school/town will allow of course) imaginable. Softball, volleyball, basketball. Goodness. She's always doing something. She is a fantastic friend. I can just be myself around Kristah and we always have a great time together. :)

since I love music so much, i'm going to post a link to a song every time i post. music is my a huge part of my life. it's my passion. i hope you enjoy reading this. i'm hoping to post as frequent as I can. i hope you enjoy this journey. 

lots of love, 

- the girl behind the camera. :)

love will take you - angus & julia stone
if i could marry a song, i would marry this one because it's so beautiful and simple.
i love this duo so you'll be hearing a lot about them. :)